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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117208">Monster-fucker?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangereen/pseuds/tangereen'>tangereen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The End Ends [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Asexual Character, Multi, how did they stop the apocalypse? don't worry about it, how did tim and sasha come back? don't worry about, in case y'all don't want swears in your g fics, pretty vague on everyone's avatar descriptions because my own headcanons aren't very well-defined, rated t for swearing?, small jon rights, that's a tag i see other people put so i guess that's what I'm doing, tim is a desolation avatar and sasha is perfectly fine, what did martin do that now has everyone in awe of and intimidated by him? don't worry about it, you can read basira and daisy's relationship as romantic or not</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:01:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangereen/pseuds/tangereen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The world ends. And then the end ends. But fear cannot be undone like the apocalypse and, as much as they try to resist it, the avatars still need to eat. They’ve worked out a routine now: once a month, the avatar of The Eye finds the fear, the evil and cruelty still being spread in the world, another avatar still trying to bring back their master; the avatar of The Hunt tracks them down, carrying her companions with her; and, once they arrive, the avatar of The Desolation destroys them. It’s that avatar’s fear and pain that Jon, Daisy, and Tim feast on; after months of struggling between their humanity and their cravings, they’d found this a suitable compromise. It also meant that, once a month, the humans got a few days to themselves. “Humans’ Night,” Georgie called it, after Martin had made it very clear that it was not going to be called “Girls’ Night.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Basira Hussain &amp; Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The End Ends [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Monster-fucker?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world ends. And then the end ends. But fear cannot be undone like the apocalypse and, as much as they try to resist it, the avatars still need to eat. They’ve worked out a routine now: once a month, the avatar of The Eye finds the fear, the evil and cruelty still being spread in the world, another avatar still trying to bring back their master. The avatar of The Hunt tracks them down, carrying her companions with her, and, once they arrive, the avatar of The Desolation destroys them. It’s that avatar’s fear and pain that Jon, Daisy, and Tim feast on; after months of struggling between their humanity and their cravings, they’d found this a suitable compromise. It also meant that, once a month, the humans got a few days to themselves. “Humans’ Night,” Georgie called it, after Martin had made it very clear that it was not going to be called “Girls’ Night.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sasha, please!” Tim cried, circling around Martin’s car as he tried to evade his wife. “You have to wait until after the hunt!” </p>
<p>His exasperation was ignored by Sasha, as she jumped and slid over the hood, trying to catch Tim in her arms. “I don’t want to wait! And I know you want to kiss me too!”</p>
<p>Tim stumbled back, almost losing his footing. He caught himself with one hand on the car, the sizzle of metal and Martin’s groan following shortly after. There was barely a moment for him to catch his breath before he had to quickly move around the car again, as Sasha tried for another smooch. “You know I can’t control it after this long without feeding,” he pleads. “Do you really want to end up like Barnabas?” </p>
<p>This got Sasha to pause her advance with a moment of faux contemplation. She smiled with a darling wickedness and declared, “I’m sure you’ll still love me even with my face melted off.” </p>
<p>“No, I won’t,” Tim lied, but Sasha ignored him, leaping at him again. This time, she caught his face between thick, fireproof gloves and leaned in for a kiss. She stopped barely a hair away from Tim’s lips, smiled, and let him go. Tim moaned, relieved slightly but still shaken from almost hurting his love. “Sasha.” </p>
<p>Instead of answering, Sasha brought a gloved hand to her lips, pressed a kiss to it, and then moved the fingers to Tim’s lips. He dutifully accepted the kiss, having long ago given up any hope of hiding his mushy, sappy adoration. </p>
<p>“Get a room!” Melanie called from behind them, stepping out of her and Georgie’s front door, a glass of wine already in her hand. </p>
<p>“No, no don’t get a room, get lost!” Georgie said, following The Admiral out the door, scooping him back up to take inside. “You were supposed to have left already”</p>
<p>At the sound of The Admiral’s meows, Jon put out his cigarette - the only one Martin had permitted and only because it had been so long since he had fed - and made his way to the cat. Martin remained seated on the boot of the car, lovingly watching his favorite monster light up around The Admiral. Jon took the waits between meals harder than the others, his too-small frame even frailer and weak from fasting, his trauma weighing on him heavier than the hunger. Tim and Daisy probably could have held out for another two or so weeks, but Martin had spent more than enough time watching Jon whither and suffer than he could bear, so he insisted the hunting trips be monthly. Nobody took Martin lightly anymore, nobody underestimated him anymore, and one stern word was all it took for their merry band of world savers to agree to Martin’s terms. Martin takes one more moment to peacefully watch his husband before resolving that it’s time that they got going already. </p>
<p>“It’s time you got going already,” Martin said, wrapping Jon up in his arms for a goodbye kiss. “You have to eat.” Martin’s words were loving, always loving, but definitive. </p>
<p>Jon squirmed slightly as Martin lifted him up and away from The Admiral and turned him toward Tim and Daisy. “Yes, yes, alright, Martin.” He snuck in one last kiss before going to join his hunting party. </p>
<p>Sasha blew Tim one last kiss while Daisy and Basira stood close together, talking too quietly for anyone to hear. As they pulled apart, Daisy’s hand trailed after Basira’s, entangling their fingers as long as possible.</p>
<p>“I don’t need to be able to see to know you haven’t left yet!” Melanie shouted, breaking the trances each of the three couples were under when staring into their partners’ eyes. “Go, it’s time to party!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Partying was more of Melanie’s and Sasha’s thing, blasting karaoke versions of pre-apocalypse pop songs, drinking too much wine, dancing and singing wildly. For Georgie, Basira, and Martin, the appeal of Humans’ Night was the mundane. They put together charcuterie boards, had wine tastings, painted their nails, watched TV, and all the other terribly boring things trying to clean up after the apocalypse didn’t leave time for. They enjoyed the music and the dancing too, but it was the calm and the still they liked best. </p>
<p>Well, Martin wasn’t too keen on the partying, but found enough contentment in his friends’ happiness to stick around. He usually sat on the couch, The Admiral purring in his lap, as Basira was finally roped onto the dancefloor. He rarely even missed Jon on these evenings, the sadness overwhelmed by his friends’ happiness and the excitement of being reunited with a whole and healthy archivist. </p>
<p>But Melanie always found a way to spoil his peace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I am not!” Martin protested, nearly choking on his wine. He smoothed his shirt, sitting up a little straighter, trying to use his new authority to cover up his ridiculous blushing. </p>
<p>Melanie pursed her lips and hummed with disapproval. “But, you are actually. If you think about it.”</p>
<p>“No, no, I’m not! And I would rather not think about it!” </p>
<p>“Oh, come on, Martin, it’s okay to admit it,” Sasha said. She threw an arm around Martin’s shoulder, pulling him in for a conspiratorial “Basira and I both are.” She threw a glance at Basira, wiggling her eyebrows. </p>
<p>Basira’s face remained unchanged, still giving up absolutely nothing about her and Daisy’s relationship. Martin wasn’t quite sure why they were so secretive and privately thought they were very sweet together. They certainly loved each other and protected each other. Any “toxicity” Georgie had once been concerned about had long since been mended, so Martin didn’t see why they felt they had to hide. Unless, of course, it was a hilarious game Daisy and Basira were playing on them. </p>
<p>“They have a point,” Georgie chimed in, bringing Martin, dreadfully, back to the subject at hand. </p>
<p>“But I’m not!” he insisted. “I’m not- Jon’s not- We’re not like that! You know we’re not!” Martin’s breathing grew a little ragged with frustration and embarrassment. “I am not-” Martin put the most emphasis and venom into this word as any he had since stopping Elias/Jonah/That Arsehole, “-a monster-fucker.” </p>
<p>Melanie threw her hands up in frustration. “That’s not what it means! You don’t have to actually fuck a monster to be a monster-fucker!” </p>
<p>“Of course, that’s what it means, what else could it mean?”</p>
<p>“It means you would fuck a monster-”</p>
<p>“I would not-”</p>
<p>“But you would want to-”</p>
<p>“I would not-”</p>
<p>“With Jon-”</p>
<p>“I would never-”</p>
<p>“If Jon was-”</p>
<p>“But he’s not-”</p>
<p>“But if he was-”</p>
<p>Georgie interrupts their argument there with a stern hand on Melanie’s shoulder and a look so cold that she might not be able to see, but Martin felt sure she could still feel. “That’s enough of that.” </p>
<p>“Think about it this way,” Sasha said, trying to melt the ice. “Before the apocalypse, before you ever knew monsters were real, hell, before you ever came to the archives, if you had watched some horror movie and came out thinking, ‘Mm, fish man sexy,’ we would have called you a monster-fucker, even though there is no conceivable way you could have actually fucked the fish man.” </p>
<p>“You think Jon ‘Laser Eyes’ is sexy,” Basira continued, “Thinking a monster is sexy makes you a monster-fucker. Ergo, you, Martin Blackwood-Sims, are a monster-fucker.” </p>
<p>The flush on Martin’s face had spread to his ears and his neck. He felt like he was trapped in a hot room with Tim. A few starts of sentences stuttered out of him but his mind numbed at trying to process an excuse until he gave in. He dropped his head into his hands. “Oh, no. I’m a monster-fucker.”</p>
<p>Georgie refilled his glass of wine while Basira gave him a sympathetic pat on the back and Sasha and Melanie high-fived. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jon looked so much better when he returned, stalkier, stronger, with a spring in his step and a wide grin on his face as he threw himself into Martin’s arms and showered him in kisses. Sasha nearly tackled Tim to the ground, overjoyed at finally being able to touch him again without melting. Basira and Daisy shared a quick embrace before making their goodbyes. Martin managed to look away from Jon just long enough to confirm they were holding hands as they walked away. Tim and Sasha followed after, eager to turn their public displays of affection into private once. With one last snuggle of The Admiral, Jon and Martin climbed into Martin’s car and headed home. </p>
<p>By this point, Jon knew better than to tell Martin any of the details of the hunt and instead asked him all about Humans’ Night and what silliness he’d gotten up to with the girls. He could have just, Known, and Martin panicked for a moment that he might have already, but reminded himself that Jon really does love to hear Martin tell him stories. </p>
<p>They arrived home just as Martin had finished telling everything - well, almost everything - and Jon made his way to the bathroom, eager to scrub the blood and dirt and whatever else had settled on him during their trip. While he showered, Martin changed into his pajamas and picked some out for Jon. </p>
<p>“There is something you’re not telling me, Martin.” Jon sat in front of the mirror with Martin behind him, combing his wet hair and preparing to braid it. “Which is fine. You’re allowed to have secrets.” Jon stiffened a little. “It’s just that you usually don’t,” he said more quietly than he had been speaking before. </p>
<p>Martin took a deep breath and began working on Jon’s hair. “Well,” he said cautiously, still unsure how to approach this, “there is one other thing that happened this weekend.” </p>
<p>“Is it about Basira and Daisy? Please don’t tell me you’re keeping their secret from me too.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not that. And, honestly, if you want to know so bad, you could just, you know, Know.” Martin put his usual “spooky stuff” emphasis on the last word and Jon smiled. </p>
<p>“I promised I wouldn’t.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah.” Martin paused and pretended to be very focused on braiding, but a questioning hum from Jon brought him back. “Melanie. Well, she said something.” At this, Jon stiffened again, getting ready to be mad on his behalf. “And the others agreed.” In the mirror, Jon quirked an eyebrow at him. “They said…” He took a long pause and another deep, deep breath. “They said I’m a monster-fucker.”</p>
<p>Below his hands, Martin felt Jon droop. His gaze turned down and he started fidgeting with an old scar. “Oh.” </p>
<p>This was exactly why Martin had been so worried about bringing this up. He knew he wasn’t explaining it right, which only made him more flustered, which made him more likely to explain it worse. “Not like that, not like that! No, it’s. That’s not what it means. At least according to Sasha.” </p>
<p>“Then what does it mean?” Jon asked. It came out cold, as usually happened when Jon was trying to mask discomfort and Martin felt a pierce in his heart.</p>
<p>“It means- it’s like- so there’s a sexy fish and- no, it’s more like- if you like the fish then- but not ‘like the fish,’ it’s ‘like the fish’- the fish isn’t important, it’s-” Martin was stumbling over his words again, which wasn’t doing either of them any good. Fortunately, Jon rescued him from his spiral with a tender squeeze of his hand. He took another deep, deep, deep breath. “According to Sasha. And the rest of them really, not that that’s important, but according to Sasha. You don’t have to fuck a monster to be a monster-fucker. According to Sasha. It’s like. Just be virtue of being ‘into’ a monster, that’s enough to classify you as one. As a monster-fucker, I mean, not to classify you as a monster. Not that I think of you as a monster, Jon, no, of course not. But you, and, well, Tim and Daisy, well, you know, and we call it ‘Humans’ Night’ for a reason, but-” </p>
<p>That’s where Jon cuts him off, standing up and wrapping Martin in a tight hug. Martin can feel him chuckle quietly, too quietly for him to actually hear. “So, you’re a monster-fucker. What do you think that makes me? A ‘human-fucker?’” Jon looks up at him with a wide smile.</p>
<p>“Jonathan Sims-Blackwood, are you admitting that you’re attracted to me?” teased Martin. </p>
<p>“Never,” Jon said and pulled his husband in for a kiss. </p>
<p>Martin pulled back suddenly, leaving Jon a little disappointed. “I’ve thought of something much better!”</p>
<p>“Oh?” Jon fluttered his eyelids, trying to lure Martin back into their kiss. </p>
<p>“A better word for what I am. Monster-lover.”</p>
<p>Jon rolled his eyes but failed to suppress his laugh. “Really, Martin? ‘Monster-lover?’”</p>
<p>“Monster-lover,” Martin said, the weight of his words and his affection as strong as ever. “I’m a monster-lover,” he whispered into Jon’s ear and resumed their kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yo what's up, I shot-gunned TMA in about a week and now have fallen way too far into all of it. I couldn't ask for anything better. </p>
<p>Hmu on tumblr at tangereendream.tumblr.com or on twitter @TVBClaringbold. </p>
<p>I have a couple other ideas for fics in this post-apocalypse AU so maybe you'll be hearing more from me again soon....</p></blockquote></div></div>
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